Now Even MISS PIGGY Admits to Botox

Actress. Icon. Supermodel. Chanteuse. Muse. Frog-o-phile. Cinema and television superstar nonpareil. Global idol. Envy of millions. International object of lust. A thousand percent goddess. Celebrity royalty. What more can I say?

Here comes the pig, people. Bow down, for the sow who put the ow! in wow.

‘Miss Piggy coming through,’ barks an aide into his walkie talkie. ‘Make way for Miss Piggy,’ echo the excited voices in the hotel corridor.


Miss Piggy looks even younger today, left, than she did in 1998, right

Inside the perfumed hush of her gilded corner suite at the Lanesborough hotel in London, a butler busies himself with last minute details.

He wafts a feather duster around the crystal chandeliers, scatters fresh rose petals around the marquetry floor, tweaks the pile of starched cocktail napkins next to a selection of Miss Piggy’s favourite titbits; American brand candy bars, a selection of savoury pies, tiny porcelain cups filled with hot chocolate.

We are here because Miss Piggy’s new film, The Muppets, has been a surprise hit and will be available on DVD later this year.

This burst of success after a long period in the doldrums means that Miss Piggy, compared to other stars, is a…..just at that moment, the double doors to the suite are flung open. A tiny figure is silhouetted against the light.

Fashionista: Miss Piggy wears a dress by Giles Deacon and shoes by Christian Louboutin

‘Hold it right there, sister,’ shouts a familiar, porky voice. ‘There is no one on the planet to compare with moi. So don’t even try it.’

A frisson of something runs around the hotel room. Let’s call it fear. Miss Piggy clip-clops quickly across the petal-strewn floor, her hooves sheathed in her custom-made glitter Louboutins.

She extends one hand, wrapped in a lavender, elbow length glove, to shake my own. Then she pulls my security name tag closer.

‘Moir? Moi meets Moir,’ she titters at her own joke, then calls for her butler. ‘Moi wants snacks!’ she yells and flicks her hair. ‘Snacks. Moi!’ she says, pointing to herself, in case anyone was in any doubt.

Up close, Miss Piggy smells of jasmine and cordite, with a faint tang of smoky bacon crisps somewhere in the mix. Her snout is like a giant pink marshmallow and she is rather beautiful but oddly terrifying. For a pig.

She’s an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, covered in crackling. I’m not even sure what to call her. Piggy sounds far too rude, I say, whereas Miss Piggy sounds rather too formal.

‘If it makes you feel more comfortable, you can call me Your Majesty. Although I understand the royal family prefers to keep that moniker for themselves,’ she says. ‘So just call me Miss Piggy – and live with the discomfort.’

There is a trumpety little vibrato in her voice which seems to suggest suppressed anger. So we move on. This is a piquant juncture in Miss Piggy’s career. I’d actually like to say a pig-quant juncture, but her people have told my people that pig jokes go down like bacon burgers at a bar mitzvah. So let’s not be rasher here. Let’s move on again.

After a long period languishing at the lower levels of the celebrity stratosphere – Miss Piggy has made a triumphant comeback.

Disney’s 2011 release of hit film The Muppets not only reunites her with Kermit and the gang, it has put her back in demand like never before. International designer houses such Marc Jacobs and Louis Vuitton clamour to make her clothes and accessories; Ikea are desperate to extend her wardrobe and she has even released her own range of MAC make up.

‘When I first read the script and saw my name in it, I knew this movie was going to be a hit,’ she says modestly.

However, despite Miss Piggy’s nuanced portrayal of, er, Miss Piggy in her new movie, she has not personally been nominated for an Oscar this year– a source of no little indignation.

Yes, she was at the ceremony broadcast live from Hollywood last month, but not as a nominee. The world’s most glamorous pig was there as a co-presenter, giving away an Oscar with her on/off partner Kermit the frog at her side. However, one suspects this honour was not much of a consolation for a diva of her magnitude.

Read more:

Request An Appointment